Featured Topic

Change your Energy, Change your Life!
By Nina Boski

I love this topic, because ENERGY relates to everything in the Universe. From the physical to the spiritual, it’s all about the energy. We have an exciting series this fall that will give you a chance to get advise from top professionals in their field. As the seasons change, so can you!

For many people this last year, life has been, let’s say… challenging. We all have been asked to step up to the plate in one or more areas of our life. No longer able to play it safe by hiding behind fears, the job or family, life is either causing you to change either by choice or by force. How you grow is up to you. (Personally after years of the forced methods, I am a willing participant.)

As a lifestyle expert and energy coach, I am always working with people not just on a logical level, but an energetic one too. We are either blocked or flowing in our energy. Many times people want the blocked emotions just gone from their life. But blocked emotions are wonderful indicators of where you need to grow. I have a client that is so dedicated to her self-growth. She is always looking at ways she can transform her life. When something painful comes up, as difficult as it may be to look at it truthfully, she always wants to learn, grow and transform it. For many of us though, this is not the case. We hide, deny and sabotage our negative emotions instead of bringing them to light in order to get healed. …Or this is a good one: We become aware of the issue in our life. But instead of actively changing it, we stay in the awareness of it… for YEARS! Awareness is a key first step in changing your life. But it’s only a step.

So how can you change your energy?

The answer is simple, but not as easy as it sounds. For example, if you have lived 35 years on the planet (give or take a few) and you have been programmed to think a certain way, you will need tools, discipline and a new hard drive to help reprogram and redirect your life if you want to change.

In my interview with Dr. Wayne Dyer, I asked him a question about the difficulty of change, and his answer was, “change is hard if you think it’s hard.” So if thoughts become things, then you may need to think new thoughts if you are going to change your life.

There is only way to change, and that is by physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually aligning yourself with that change. So get ready, during the next fifteen weeks you’ll get some tools, some thoughts to ponder and questions to answer – all to help you change your energy, change your life!

Featured Topic: What Sex and the City Character Are You?

By Nancy Drinker
With the upcoming release of Sex and the City 2, I got to thinking about the girls and an incident that occurred last summer. Another of my 40+ friends and I went for a drink at the local watering hole. While seated at the bar, we were approached by four (substantially) younger men. After the introductions, they invited us to join them in their booth for cocktails and repartee. At one point, our playful conversation turned to an assessment by the guys of which of the Sex and the City characters – Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda – my friend and I represented. Now, I have dark brown hair, brown eyes and despite the fact that I was wearing a navy linen strapless dress, wedge espadrilles and a yellow cashmere cardigan – PURE Charlotte – I was pegged as Samantha. The guys must have seen something more than what was going on on the surface. Way to go, guys!

For those of you who may not be as familiar with the series/movies Sex and the City, let me break it down for you. Despite being a member of the New York glitterati, fashion- and love-focused, Carrie is perhaps, the most well balanced and easily relatable character to everyday women. She’s quirky and fun. Samantha is the oldest member of the cast and represents the independent, sexually confident business woman. Charlotte is the most conventional of the four, having grown up in Connecticut. She plays the quintessential homecoming queen, searching for her “knight in shining armor” over the course of the series. And, Miranda is the bright and career-minded lawyer. Her cynicism about love and life helps temper Charlotte’s blind optimism.

It’s long been my contention that the four SATC characters represent different aspects of the same woman. We are complex beings whose moods vary from day to day, hour to hour, heck, sometimes minute to minute! The SATC girls definitely reflect this diversity! In order to maintain healthy, balanced lives we need to embrace and care for our whole self. So, here’s an exercise to try. Sit for a minute and consider which of the four SATC characters you’re most like. What’s your predominant personality? Are you:

Carrie – flirty, fun, quirky, relatively well balanced, light-hearted, hopeful
Samantha – independent, clever, sexually confident, creative, business woman
Charlotte – conventional, rule-oriented, perfectionist, loyal, seeker of the “ideal” love
Miranda – bright, cynical, driven, athletic, A type-work-focused

Okay, now that you’ve ID-ed your main personality type, take a look at the other characters. Can you see aspects of them in you, too? Probably so, right? That night in the bar, I was looking conventional but must have been giving off an aura of independence or sexual confidence the guys picked up on. Chances are, I was channeling some of Carrie’s fun flirtation and Miranda’s wittiness, too! Wow, I either have a multiple personality disorder or I’m a complex modern woman just like you!

In today’s fast-paced, over-programmed world, taking care of the different sides of our nature takes some consciousness and effort. When you’re not in a relationship, it’s easy to forget to flex those flirtatious/sexually confident muscles. Or, if you’re at home with the kids, your inner business woman may be getting short shrift! So, what’s a woman to do?

Well, just recognizing and remaining aware of the varied sides of your self helps you to address those needs. And, if you want to build on that, cool! If you’re looking to rev up your flirty side and don’t have a man around (or in mind) to “target,” start with the bag boy at Trader Joe’s or the guy who sells you your gas. What you focus on expands. So, if you’re concentrating on fun, you’ll create more of it in your life! Suddenly you’ll find you have a little bounce in your step and maybe you’ll notice that you’re attracting a bit more attention from the opposite sex. Now, there’s something you can raise a cosmo to!

If, on the other hand, you’ve left the business world to tend to your three year-old, the CEO in you might be feeling a little neglected. Let’s be honest, the roles are clearer and it’s a lot easier to know you’re doing a good job at work than it is at home. When you’re a mom, there’s no “employee of the month” award, no priority parking spot to recognize your good work and definitely no annual review. I can remember making lists of all I’d gotten done during the day in order to conjure up that sense of accomplishment I felt after a full day’s “work.” If that’s you, maybe it’s time to volunteer for a position at school, church or in your local community. Find a way to stimulate that inner worker bee and associate yourself with others who will appreciate what you’re contributing and give you positive feedback.

The point is, in order to feel whole, you need to honor all of you. Be BIG! Not Mr. Big, just BIG. As in, as much as you can be. Celebrate all of you! Take Manhattan (or wherever you are) by storm!

So, as Carrie would say, “we couldn’t help but wonder…” which side of you needs attention? And how are you going to help her get her mojo back?

Featured Topic: A New Journey

It’s time to get on a new road, make a shift and begin your journey to a new life! Whether your inner journey takes you to new exotic places, or simply your own backyard, the wonderful thing about a new journey is we get a chance to walk away from the past and start fresh on a new road from the present and into our future.

Sometimes in the beginning of something, we feel uncertain or unclear of what to do. If you find yourself having a lot of challenges starting your new path, ask yourself why you want to take a journey to begin with. This is a wonderful time for contemplation and reflection. Elizabeth Gilbert had a purpose for each step of her journey. You simply can’t say, “I want something different.” Ask yourself some questions like:

“What do you want to let go of and leave behind?”
“What new things do I want to create in my life?”
“What journey will I take to create my better life?”

Asking yourself these types of questions helps to formulate your sense of direction and lead you to your next steps. The key is to “embrace your life lessons with the willingness to learn and grow with an open heart.” Meaning, in order to take a new journey, you have to do the work and shift internally first.

Elizabeth Gilbert says, “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.”

She also says, “Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.”

This means you have to get strong, develop fortitude and commit to change. This can be another year of empty wishes or an opportunity for a new way, a new questioning, a new discovery, a new exploration. But, in order for that change to happen, you have to take the first step. The choice is right in front of you; the fork in the road is here!

I believe there are no coincidences in life. You are attracted to this topic because there is a stirring inside of you, whether or not you are ready to act on that “inner knowing.” This is the moment when you need to ask yourself: “Will I take the same old road – same day, same bat channel? Or, will I embark on exciting adventure, to challenge myself to have what I really want in life?”

It’s up to you, the road is waiting…and the journey awaits!

Topic of the Month: “Believing is Seeing”

As we embark on 2010, let’s get into new patterns and a new life. Be BOLD! Be willing to approach your life differently. This topic is a dynamic one because most of us usually live our life by the thought of “Seeing is Believing”. Let’s think about this for a moment. When you have to see in order to believe, you rely on the outside world to show you what to believe. However, if you reverse it “Believing is Seeing”, you rely on your faith and the power of intention to create your reality. You are now in control of what you believe.

Einstein subscribed to the idea of “thoughts become things.” Dr. Wayne Dyer and other experts agree that if you want to create something in your life, you have to be willing to see it in your mind first.

Then why do most of us passively go about our lives, saying things such as “I wish I could…If only I could get a break…Can you believe my boss…my spouse…the government… is doing this to me? … I would be able to have my dream if this ‘thing’ would change?”

As you know, we can’t always change our circumstance, but we can change our mind about it and how we look at things. Whether positive or negative, it’s our beliefs that shape who we are. For instance, take the example of a jealous girlfriend who accuses her boyfriend of cheating just because he gave another woman a ride home. In truth, the only thing he is guilty of is driving her home. However, because she has had a hurtful past experience of a boyfriend betraying her, she feels that her current boyfriend must be doing the same thing too. Again, her beliefs are shaping her reality.

We constantly see negative images in the media and it’s all too easy to let ourselves begin to believe that those messages and images are the only reality. Consequently, we become victim to these negative beliefs and stop creating with our own belief systems. That is why it so important for us to choose our beliefs wisely, or they will be chosen for us. So, if you only choose see a world where the economy is failing, no one is hiring and you will never get back on your feet, then that is exactly what you will see – not much! So again you have to be willing to “Believe it to see it.”

In writing about this month’s topic, I realized I have a particular long-standing belief that I need to change. What is partly to blame for this belief still being with me is my lack of action to do anything to change it. I have been waiting for it to change on its own. Guess what? It hasn’t changed. When you do nothing, nothing happens. We cannot continue to do the same things over and over and expect the results to be different. If you want to change a belief pattern, then YOU have to do it. It will not miraculously change on its own without you first changing your inner thoughts, feelings and/or actions.

The other night I went to my yoga class and my teacher, Guru Singh, discussed how our emotions will control us, if we do not learn to control our emotions. This a KEY point to understand. Our emotions manifest our beliefs. If I feel I’m not worthy or feel bad about myself, I will only see situations around me that support that belief. The powerful thing about your mind and emotions is that you really do have the ability to focus on what you want to create. If you see the world as a fearful, terrible place, it will be. If you don’t feel you are worthy or smart enough to obtain your dreams, you won’t.

The mind is a powerful tool in which our values, beliefs and goals are manifested. The mind stores the “seeds” to our reality. So just like a plant needs to be watered and fertilized to grow, we have to fertilize and nurture our minds to produce fruitful results. Today there is a new opportunity, a new beginning, a new way itching to be born… But you first have to BELIEVE IT before you can SEE IT.

Question of the month:

For this month: What are the beliefs in your life revealing about you?

(Be sure to check out my interview with Dr. Wayne Dyer)