Getting into the SEXY VIBE with Date Night!

By Susan Davis-Swanson

Feeling and looking sexy for your partner seems to be something many couples let go adrift after they are married or in a relationship for awhile. It’s as if so many people just give up.

Keeping sex alive in a long-term relationship is an attitude that you work on to keep. It’s a commitment to looking attractive for your partner, being flirtatious and making love a priority in your relationship. I, like many couples therapists, am a big proponent of date night. When you are dating, you make it a point to dress up, go somewhere, flirt, play, and usually make love. Remember that feeling of passion? Well, it becomes more challenging during real life; kids and jobs and chores make you tired. But keeping a date night will ensure that you make your relationship a priority. It reminds you and your partner that your relationship and time as a couple is a priority because you make it one.

• On date night, you shut down the cell phones, stop the video games, close up e-mail.
• On date night, you stop thinking about the committee you’re on, the project at the office.
• On your date night, get dressed a little – guys dress for your woman as if you were dating her for the first time, girls, get a little sexy.


Go somewhere together or… what I love to do is have an intimate dinner at home –
A great bottle of wine, great music and “just us.” Talk about the two of you, not the kids, not the in-laws, not your last fight. Find out how your partner is, or find out something you don’t know. Look at your partner and see the person you fell in love with and bring back the energy that allowed you to fall in love with one another in the first place. And make love (or just have great, sexy sex).

It takes time and initiative to focus on this, but couples feel more connected to their partners when they continue to keep their love and flirtation alive. Making love, playing with one another helps you overcome daily frustrations and you will love the pay off in your feelings for one another. So stop fighting. Stop trying to decide who’s right and who’s wrong. And make the time to talk to one another and keep dating and playing for a truly satisfying relationship. This will not only do wonders for your Sexy Vibe, but will keep your relationship alive and healthy!

Susan Davis Swanson, LCSW, BCD
Executive Director
The Stepfamily Center
Beverly Hills and The South Bay
310.274.2780
www.stepfamilycenter.com

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